My law school application is being held up ridiculously by my inability to write a
personal statement.
Of course I've stopped and started a million times, and all of it is absolute crap. If
only I were writing about someone else, I think I might have an easier time with it.
But today, if not every day, I feel that my life is not extraordinary, or exemplary,
or even interesting unless I'm prepared to be entirely self-deprecating, which I
don't think would come off well in an admissions process.
What to do? UGh...
Lately I've been obsessed with FDR and WWII.
WWII is given a lot of lip service in the public education system of our country,
and there are lots of books and accounts of personal experiences, like the Ken
Burns documentary airing on PBS now. But I'm not watching PBS.
But all of a sudden, I'm not interested in these tidy, empty summaries and
emotional recollections anymore. I find myself asking, Just exactly HOW did
FDR and Stalin get together? WHAT was our relationship to China? Why did
Molotov reject the Marshall Plan, and what, exactly, WAS the Marshall Plan
anyway? Isn't it ATROCIOUS that I haven't picked this up by now?
And today I realized why I suddenly wish I knew: because under the FDR
administration, half the world came together to rise up out of a dark time. And
all our current administration has done is plunged us into one. And since
nothing in the present seems to be going right, I'm trying to learn, FOR REAL,
how our leaders did it back then--how did they fight a war while stabilizing
countries, instead of ruining them!?! What were the compromises, the
strategies, the mistakes? It's amazing to me that I went for years and years
without caring to understand!
Today on the NYTimes website, 2 articles on the "most popular" list (Paul
Krugman's "Gore Derangement Syndrome" and Frank Rich's "The 'Good
Germans' Among Us") referenced FDR and WWII, respectively. It seems to me
that journalists may be moving beyond comparing Iraq with the embarassment
of Vietnam and instead are beginning to contrast it with the relative successes
of WWII.
And I begin to think our leaders don't fully appreciate history.
At the age of fourteen, I can remember sitting solemnly at my grandparent's
kitchen table opposite my grandfather while he tearfully told me how his
colleagues--mostly chemists--had tested various chemical warfare agents on
themselves before sending them out into the field. From this story (and others
I heard over the years), it was quite clear to me that this was a war no one
wanted, but felt they had to fight and win, and furthermore, had to do as
humanely as possible. The actions of our government seemed not so
bloodthirsty, not so ignorant of the costs that both sides had to pay, and not
afraid to show everyone at home that war was tragic, and hurt both the winners
and the losers.
Oh, FDR. Oh, Dorothy Thompson. Oh Mr. Hull, General Marshall, Mr. Hopkins...
why do you still seem to be the smartest people in the room? I think some
Americans still support the war in Iraq because they mistakenly believe that our
leaders have the same motivations that led, after WWII, to institutions like the
United Nations. But as I begin to scratch the surface of what happened only
half a century ago, I can see that this war in the Middle East is grossly, horribly
different. Nothing good can come of it for anyone, ever. What's more, I don't
see anyone stepping forward in our presidential race who could lead us out of it
(but maybe that's only because I'm a little depressed). Anyway, back to the
books I go...
This morning on the radio I heard a guy from Isgro Paticceria explaining how
he HAD to use trans fats to make their cannolis or they wouldn't be crispy and
delicious. And who was he complaining to? City council, at a recent "taste test"
a councilwoman set up so that city bakers could come before the council and
whine how they needed to use trans fatty sludge to make good treats, and
therefore could not comply with the proposed city-wide ban on trans fats.
Isgro's said they tried alternatives, and nothing worked as well as oils with
trans fats. It sounds to me like they just didn't try hard enough, and they were
perhaps considering their financial bottom line more than they let on. I want to
know what they did in the old country before Wilhelm Normann came up with
hydrogenating oils in 1901? I can't believe that cannolis were somehow inferior
until Crisco came along and took them to a whole new level.
Unfortunately, while Isgro tries to get out of the ban, some very unfortunate
people go right on along raising their risk of coronary heart disease (trans fat
consumption lowers "good" cholesterol levels), and generally packing on the
pounds because they love Isgro's food and want to support a local institution. I
was one of them, and nothing used to thrill me more than a dozen cannolis
wrapped in that box with the white and green string. Now all I can think about
is how they take me one step closer to a heart attack.
Did you know that half of men who are healthy at 40 will develop coronary
heart disease by the time they're 70, and a third of women (who are also
HEALTHY at 40)?!? This is terrible! And trans fats practically pack your bags
and put you on the bus to the hospital!
Their shop was so pretty, and it smelled so nice, and the cannolis were SO
delicious... but I hate the idea of a bypass (my grandad have five of them--
thank you, greasy foods) so I'm afraid I just can't go back. (sigh)
Last Friday I hiked up the Parkway to see the Philadelphia Museum of Art's
brand-spankin'-new baby, the Perelman Building. The Museum has had this
building for years, and had been operating certain departments within it even
when I worked there-- but not like now!
Recently the building opened with all its shiny new toys installed, and it is a
wonderous masterpiece of gallery, lab, storage, and office design. I was lucky
enough to have my very good friend Vincent take me on a tour of all the nooks
and crannies, and I defy any museum in the world to show me a better site
for the work of running a museum. If Le Corbusier's Villa Savoye was a
machine for living in, then the Perelman Building is a machine for revving up
ART (and all its attendant transactions)! I can't think of a happier situation for a
library, archives, IT dept, conservation, development-- and galleries! I think
the people at Gluckman Mayner (the architects) totally rocked it.
Really... be still my heart...
PS Admission to the Perelman Building is free until December 31, so everyone
go and see it-- you have no excuse to wait!
Last night was like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one. Seth kept the
home fires burning while I went for the first time to the World Cafe. Because I
am a superfan, I went to see Danbert Nobacon howl and growl some tunes
from his latest CD The Library Book of the World. Then I got acquainted with
the Mekons-- who were like a raucous Wurlitzer (if Wurlitzers did reggae beats
and high kicks). They were awesome! I loved them! I loved the whole show,
and after it was done I had a kind of glowing happiness that comes from seeing
and hearing new fantastic things. It was the thrill of discovery and the
satisfaction of a night well spent.
I also bought a poster and made them sign it. I'm such a nerd!
This past Friday I received a parking ticket from my friendly meter person.
But it was not in vain.
I received it while sitting in the comfortable darkness of the Ritz 5, watching a
thoroughly wonderful documentary which is in theaters now, called
"In the Shadow of the Moon".
We all know that I am an emotional person. And goodness knows I love me
my elders! But I cannot express to you how wonderful this movie made me
feel. And that it should be a real and true thing that lifted me up so high (high
enough that even a parking ticket courtesy of our bloated bureaucracy couldn't
bring me down)-- I just want everyone to see it.
Reviews are calling it "enthralling" and all that... the whole time I could not help
thinking "Oh my god..." Here was history, with outcome known, making me
feel joyous and worried, exhilerated and nervous. I think that means it's good.
In a nutshell, In the Shadow of the Moon mixes video and audio from the heady
NASA days of the Apollo missions to the moon with interviews from the guys
who balanced at the top of the rockets and landed on the moon. These men
are so charming, funny, and human as they recount what it meant to be test
pilots and finally astronauts-- all the crap and filth of celebrity as we now know
it seems to never have touched them.
Let it be known that I am a big fan of the movie "The Right Stuff". But the real
stuff wins every time, hands down. For fans and skeptics of the space
program, or even the mildly curious (which was me, and trust me, I was MILD),
this will make you a believer. It's just delightful, and fits one more piece into
the puzzle of what the 20th century was about for our country. I want to see it
again.